In my job as a therapist, I see many clients do what behavioral psychologists call, “acting out.” The clinical definition of acting out in my line of work is displaying any kind of behavior that acts out unhealed or untreated emotional pain. Performing such actions usually show up as out of control behaviors that are acted out on impulses, up to and including addictions. In general terms, the behavior or actions are usually destructive to self and others. They are often used in immature ways and continue to block more constructive responses to the repressed feelings.

Some of the work I do in therapy is treatment for people acting out sexually to garner attention or through behaving promiscuously. Many of my clients and others who act out this behavior day after day, week after week, or throughout a lifetime pattern think they really “love” the others they act out with. Of course, most of the time, there is no true or long lasting love so they move on to another person to act out with (who has a form of the same problem). This kind of behavior is known as the confusion of sex, love and relationship addiction.

People who continuously are looking for love are most often those who do not know how to love themselves or who do not feel worthy of authentic love and relationship. Divine Love is the only real love because all unconditional love comes from the Divine Designer of Love.  Realizing this fact even dimly is the first step in any healing treatment or program (such as 12 Step Programs). There is always a need to know the Higher Power Creator of love and to bond with your own inner loving self before you can act out of Real Love.

If you want to receive any benefit from your Spirituality, you must practice the ideals of Divine Love that gives unconditionally…to you, as an individual first and then, you are able to pass it on with pure intentions. Express it in every word you speak, at your job, in business transactions, in all relationships and in all areas of your life.

Most people will tell me they would like to do that, but it is too hard. They will even say it is impossible to treat others well when they have wounded them. I get that. I am human and I agree. That just makes it all the more amazing when you do see someone loving the unloving or someone acting out OF love from the love they have received from God. It is called “pay it forward,” or “passing it on.”

Imagine if we all were able to trust that one small step to begin these loving practices in word, thought, and deed. Imagine how the world could change if we began to operate in that kind of loving harmony and stopped the noisy talk about love or the acting out behaviors that are called love and we really started applying true love with no strings or ulterior motivations attached.



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