BLESSINGS FULL OF STUFFINGS THAT BRING IN ABUNDANCE

The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped. (Proverbs 11:25, The Message). Here is an Attitude you can bank on! That means that developing this attitude of blessing others abundantly will bring more back to you that is also an abundant blessing. This is the Law of Reaping and Sowing.

I have the best occupation in the world in my opinion. I get to encourage people all day long. Outsiders often ask me how in the world I can listen to people’s problems all day long. I always marvel at that question, as that is not how I see a therapist’s job at all or at least, certainly, not mine. Yes, my clients have all sorts of problems and if we stayed focused on those, I would be depressed myselfJ

Here’s the deal, however. I listen to the problem as a symptom or just an indicator of something else that is going on that is deeply locked in. Problems are just gauges or pointers to get us to look at what is behind that problem. Typically, there has always been a backlog of thoughts and issues around thoughts that brought that problem into being. So, I work with the person to uncover what the problem on display means. To me, it is like figuring out a mystery.

To my clients, of course, it is their life that emotionally is unbalanced and needs to be stabilized mind, body, and spirit. That client and I work together like a team. I listen and do the detective work while they give me background information about their beginnings and family of origin messages. I am so blessed to hear how many of them even survived childhood given the story of that time for them. It is just a matter of finding the impurities and purifying them with whatever treatment.

As you can imagine, this is a huge blessing for me to be able to have expertise in giving this kind of help to others and know the blessings are going both ways. Everything I give comes back to me folded into more blessings for helping others. These unfolding blessings come forth to help more people and of course, they help me and my connections in a multitude of ways. This is the Harmony of God. When you bless, you get it back in abundance. When you think in blessings and gratitude, you see the entire world and people as abundance waiting to happen if they choose to be blessed.

This unfolding of the blessings works in the negative with curses in the same way. If you live cursing your life and hating yourself, your life and the others in it, you draw in an abundance of curses. Think about what this means. We could be blessing ourselves abundantly with focus on blessings and have that all come back to us while changing the world just by a change of attitude. It does mean replacing old networks of negativity and plugging into new ones of blessings and great abundance-

BE ASSURED THAT YOU WILL BE ABUNDANTLY BLESSED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

MORE RECIPES OF GOOD STUFFING FILLED WITH GRATITUDE

I wrote last time about kinds of stuffing. I compared emotional stuffing with food stuffing. I wrote that the key ingredient in changing old stuff that you have packed with negative stuffing is to add GRATITUDE> this Attitude of Gratitude must become a way of LIFE.

Bags packed with Gratitude Attitudes will never be empty and you will have plenty of sunshine to give away. Sunshine is what all friendships and relationships really need. People who are hopeful bring in the light and sunshine to all situations. Conversely, downers and drags bring in the heavy wet blankets and are always full of that negative sorrow. Am I suggesting you cover everything with a gratitude and act like Pollyanna? NO, of course not. I am saying that you can have more light to see silver linings if you turn on a Light Attitude to mix with your dark situation.

Staying in the dark and trying make any recipe good is impossible. You have to see what you are putting into a recipe and pay attention to the measurements you use. Many people can only see the dark side, no light, no hope and they keep adding more of those ingredients. I am suggesting you turn on the lights and look for some positive seasonings called blessings and count them in full measure.

Blessings and Attitudes that are hopeful and full of faith make all the difference. They signal to your brain that there is good going on and more can be added to the some that you see. Once again, this is the Law of attraction in operating. Having an Attitude of Thankfulness attracts more to be thankful for and before you know it, you are attracting lots of blessings. This is just how it works unless you think otherwise. If you think otherwise, stop reading now as you have zero faith and hope to stay a victim.

By the way, some people do love victim status. They love to brag about how bad things are going. Please stay away from these folks. They bring in darkness and web you into their Pity Party. Before you know it, they are dragging you down. If you know any of these types, please keep good boundaries from them. They are full of false beliefs and prey on other people to feel sorry for them.

Before you judge me heartless, please listen carefully. If you are stuffing yourself on pity, you will stay in the pit.  If you stuff with gratitude, you will feel lighter and let go of pit stuffing.  The way to help people who are negative and attracting more of the same is to first, show compassion. Compassion means concern and kindness, not wallowing in the mire of negative. It is hopeful, encouraging and uplifting. You do not get that in a dark room of depressing thoughts or anxious place of worry that things are going to always be awful.

You get it from hope and faith based living that is counting blessings that you already do have! Count your blessings today and everyday & Good comes your way:)

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

RECIPES FULL OF GRATITUDE STUFFING

Here it is Thanksgiving Week already! The years do pass swiftly now!

My family loves stuffing. I mean the stuffing that goes with Thanksgiving Dinner. They also love stuffing problems or past hurts, so I will combine the parallels. There is quite an array of stuffing to eat nowadays. I even saw a recipe for BACON stuffing the other day. I know some of you are thinking how great that sounds because you love bacon! However, back in the day (meaning, back 30 years ago or more), there were only a few kinds of stuffing).

The recipes for different stuffings to pair with different meats, or even the old-fashioned turkey reminded me that we are much more creative in all our food recipes now. I think it is the same way with our emotions. We can stuff them in all sorts of creative ways. We can hide behind work or technology. Avoiding deep connections with self or others is the “norm” now and it is done in numerous ways. The stuffing of emotions causes much distress and PTSD (past syndromes of stress that pop up and take us back into those buried feelings we stuffed deep down inside).

Facebook is a great example. Don’t get me wrong; I love Facebook. However, it is easy to stuff your feelings or go to the extreme and put them on your status, but it is not face-to-face telling someone of your pain. You just publish it and dump it. It’s better than just stuffing and not telling anyone, but it is still just a recipe to dump, not one that will truly heal the pain. I do see a lot of people dumping and sharing pain with others responding with a like and some compassion, but not in deeply connected ways (for the most part, anyway). Some of the relationships are very deep and mean a lot!

Really great stuffing requires a couple of essential ingredients in my opinion: sage and onions will deeply season all stuffings. BTW, another meaning of sage is wisdom in a person:) AND, onions make you cry (which is needed in order to heal). There are essential ingredients in most emotional stuffings as well. It is important to not add any negative ingredients, but the essential ones you can add that help purify the old ones are full of gratitude. Yes, GRATITUDEs will change attitudes. Many people have stuffed their negative emotions and covered them up for so long;

they are causing pain that spills out in reltiaonships.

That pain is often very toxic and shameful. It is full of blame and negative attitudes. It often ignores the gratitudes or blessings and thankfulness that are needed for healing. If you are blinded by pain, it is essential that you receive some meds that allow you to count your blessings so you can find an Attitude of Gratitude in your life.  I don’t care how much pain you have or what your circumstances are, there is something you can be grateful for if you stop and look for it.

I have clients in the worst circumstances with really messed up lives that have huge gratitude that they are able to open up, unpack, talk about, process, and not have to stuff themselves with negative garbage that just adds to the pain that is already there. I believe this is the best ingredient in helping anyone who has lived a life of stuffing.

Gratitude Purifies old attitudes and Draws in the Life of Blessing you do Desire:)

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

WHAT TO DO WITH STUCK STUFF OR THINGS BLOCKING TRUE HEALING

I have been writing about STUFF this week and all the stuff that we stuff or that we do not know that is poisoning our inner being. Stuffing ourselves with raw garbage and unhealed emotional feelings is like feasting on junk food. Some of the stuff I have talked about is negative stuff like unresolved anger, negative self talk, worry, bitterness to others, etc. It influences our outlook and causes it to reinforce all old wounds. Over time, there is a mountain of stuff that is raw and untreated inside us.

Most people are willing to take a look at the things they know bother them. They may be unaware of how to heal those things, but a good professional counselor can help deal with healing feelings and getting new behaviors on board.

What, however, even some professionals do not understand is the deeper stuff we refer to as –trauma. Trauma just means that there is still a posttraumatic effect going on from some stuff from the past. We see this most clearly in soldiers who return from the field and have triggered reactions or flashbacks from something seemingly unrelated to what happened while they were on active duty.  They will often be very edgy or irritable and have not understanding of what is underneath all that.

After all, they survived and are back home with loved ones, so what is blocking joy in life?

Typically, many things are blocking our joy. It is a combination of things that are hidden or unknown to us (blind spots), things we intentionally hide and refuse to talk about or work on, and things we have minimized so we could cope. There are other things involved in emotional blocks, but the point is that they are there.

These blocks distort our thinking process. Since they are unhealed, unknown, or hidden, we put them aside. Well, they are still there and will worsen because our brain is being told not to pay attention to them. Not paying attention to them is like saying I have gangrene in my toe and it is turning dark, but I am choosing to ignore there is anything wrong. May I use the word, DENIAL?

WE all live with denial. Blocks come from not taking an inventory or examining to see if you are in denial about something. The block is actually a great symptom because if you really desire to healing, you can check in with yourself and begin to uncover what is really bothering you. Writing in a journal about what it might be will usually open up the channel of communication with your inner being. You will be intentionally asking yourself in an inner dialogue what is going on. If you are patient and really want to know, you will soon find some answers.

If you keep getting stuck, please seek professional help as you may have more serious things you have stuffed that really need tending to and deeper treatment.

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

STUFFING AND FILLING UP WITH GOOD AND UNSTUFFING THE OLD NARRATIVES

STORY: I love the Power of Story. It is the STUFF that lives are made of and I appreciate hearing others tell their story. As a therapist, I hear many, many stories filled with all kinds of STUFF. Therapy is all about healing the mountains of stuff that is bringing someone distress or shifting how that person tells their story. Many times, the story is sad, but the years spent dwelling and miring in the muck of the sad is far more painful than the actual story.

The STUFF of story is a mixed bag. WE all have plenty of awful stuff to weed through. The problem with most people is that they take out the good stuff and the weeds take over. By good stuff, I mean the positives, such as gratitude, reducing down the highly charged feelings around the awful stuff, and just wallowing in self-pity over and over.

The center point of any story is to tell it honestly, leaving out none of the awful or minimizing it upon first telling. This needs to be done with someone who understands pain and will validate that this is a wound that needs cleaning out. The wound does not need shame or blame or added suffering to pour salt into it. The wound needs compassion and encouragement so it can be treated to wellness.

Many people are left with untreated wounds that are worsened over time by the way they treat themselves and allow others to treat them OR by the way they treat others. All of this behavior just adds more wounding and keeps an atmosphere inside the person that is unable to heal. The old toxic wound needs to be allowed to have the poison pulled out so that STUFF does not eat away and rot flesh. That rotten flesh lives inside and gets full of emotional bacteria that is hidden to self.

Typically, many people are operating out of a covered over wounded self that sets up a false self-talk about STUFFING. We stuff and repress all kinds of things. Even those who are angry and quick to tell you so look like they are not stuffing, but they are and are really just operating out of a triggered false self that sits on top of the wound. This masking of true self needs to be gently unstuffed and peeled off.

The old narratives need to be replaced with truth and honesty as the stuffing is pulled out so it can be healed and integrated into the story without the pain being so highly charged. Once raw feelings are treated, like any pain, they can be talked about without being triggered or going into a state of numbness.

Uncovering Our True Inner Self feels like our guts are being ripped out at first, because they sort of are, but it is really just for unstuffing all the old poisons that just feel familiar, but in reality, cause us to FEEL badly about ourselves and others.

 

Begin to take some of that Garbage Stuffing out if you feel up to it:)

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

MORE GOOD STUFF TO FEAST ON FOR INNER FULFILLMENT

When we think of Thanksgiving in the United States, we usually focus on some kind of a FEAST. It does have a deeper means of THANKS as in, gratitude for the full harvest that we can eat of the Land of Plenty.

It is certainly important to have this Attitude of Gratitude everyday 24/7 in order for our inner being to feel fulfilled and focus on Good Stuffing! I may be cynical, but I do not know of many people who operate with this system as their “hard drive.” As a matter of fact, many (and, maybe, even most humans), are so out of balance, the focus in on “not enough.” It is all about what is “not enough.”

Trust me when I say that what you feast on in your thoughts is what you call in for yourself and others. Focus on not enough means that you are pretty much angry and operating in lack a majority of the time. Your words may even give lip service to gratitude, but your actions speak a different language. The lack of gratitude focus gives rise to all sorts of discontent.

Lack of focus on joy and on the good and plenty of what you do have drags in a huge void of emptiness which soon fills with looking more at what you hate or dislike and how you wish you had ________________. Over time, this kind of focus brings in more of not enough and soon your life is all about admiring the lack in it. All of us have hopes, dreams and desires that we want fulfilled. There is no problem with that.

The kind of people I am talking about are the ones who are always complaining and always wanting someone to take care of problems. They speak about and admire the negative sentence after sentence. When they are not doing that, they are feasting on “stuff” to stuff themselves with, such as cravings of food, things, or other distractions. The other extreme of this is the just plain AVOIDANT, stuffed with avoiding (avoiding all kinds of stuff- you know, the procrastinator or the one who makes empty promises). WE are all predisposed to get out of balance in these ways.

In order to really realize and manifest your desires and dreams and bring in what your heart yearns for, you must first feast on gratitude. This is not just saying you are grateful. It is an internalized feeling of well-being and joy over your life, even though it isn’t perfect or the way you want it to be. Being content with all you have been given and with the people close to you brings in a new sense of wellness. BTW, I am not talking about fake, phony, not authentically heart-felt, gratitude:)

 A sense of wellness permeates your inner being and your mind begins to feast on things that are of no harm to anyone. Negative feelings toward others and judgments about life begin to lose their charge or stronghold over you. You are beginning to learn to enjoy all things; both what you think is positive or negative. Life is not about extremes. Life is about learning to stay in balance, focused and centered on what is best for all, not just for you.

 More of this Good Stuffing Next time……

You will feel newly empowered with this process!

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

KEEPING INNER SELF CLEAN AND FILLING WITH THE GOOD STUFF

God leads by an inner voice that is our own small voice coupled with the Spirit that is Higher and speaks to us and gives direction. These inner voices can be heard much better once we have cleared out the external harsh voices of blame and shame.  The inner voice of our own true spirit will not speak in a rejecting way because that would be going against the very essence of our True Self.

True Self aligns with what God is saying about us. Yes, we have behaviors that need reshaping and reforming, but our “being” is wonderful and amazing. When we align with thinking that encourages inner voice of positive and affirming self-talk, we are aligning with being able to hear God direction. God can correct less than stellar behaviors just as well with a gentle nudge as a loud, yelling, punishing voice. As a matter of fact, it will be kind and gentle and patient and kind if it comes from God.

Shining the Light of truth into your newly cleaned inner self will help fill you with more truth and bring in good stuff. Stuffing yourself on love and light will bring in more of the same. Positive values and regarding yourself, as a part of the Creator is a first step in seeing that you are only good because of God creating you. Nothing you do or act out is good apart from that.

It becomes humbling to love yourself for one reason alone, just because a Higher Being that wanted you to exist created you. You could not exist apart from a Higher power creating you. Being full of that self will give you a feeling of inherent worth and value. That will add more blessings and less need to curse yourself or others. You will desire to treat yourself well and others also.

Operating under the influence of a clean inner house that is full of feeling loved by a power greater than you is an amazing shift in perspective. You begin to see things in a whole new way. You are whole and thinking good stuff about others instead of focusing on their negative attributes. Now, if someone is taking advantage of you, you do not have to make up that is positive and okay. You still get to guard your thoughts while setting boundaries. As a matter of fact, you will want to guard against being abused because you know your worth and value.

Perception also totally changes. You are able to be full of insight and your view is from inside out, rather than prideful or trying to be comparing yourself with others. You have more joy even in the midst of circumstances that are ‘shaky” or not as you would like. Most of your meaning and thinking is shifting into awareness from observations without the old need to judge what you see or be angry and hostile about what you see that you do not like. You can turn it over to God to change as your attitude towards it also changes.

This kind of thinking, feeling, being changes your whole way of operating. You are under the inner influence of a NEW system!

 

You will feel newly empowered with this process!

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

LISTENING TO THAT INNER VOICE WHILE CLEANING AND CLEARING HOUSE

In my last blog, I wrote about not cleaning up other people’s messes or letting them dump them on you. I also wrote about the takers who will continue to do that over and over as a lifestyle. Listen to your inner voice to ask if you feel controlled by others.

If you are under the influence of thinking you “have to” or someone else will be mad or disappointed with you, he or she is controlling you. If you feel guilty for saying no to someone, you are most likely a co-dependent of some sort. That just means your ability to function may depend on pleasing others and if you do that, you will be caught up in their controlling behaviors.

Begin to ask yourself if you do things because you think others expect you to or if you do them because you truly desire to help. There is a caution label even on what you think your motivation for helping is, however. YOU may think you do it because you like to help, but you may hope to gain some favor of some kind either for yourself or for your inner “feel good.”

Listen to your inner voice very closely as you become clear on what your true motivation for any of the things you do for others is all about. It is very important to be clear and connected with yourself and your motivations. Cleaning out the false guilt of should and ought is a key to being able to hear direction and guidance from within and from God. If your focus has always been on what others want, it will be impossible to hear what you need.

So, what does an inner voice sound like? How can you tell where it is coming from? Those are the key questions. True self-voice combined with true spiritual voice is always positive and never condemning. If an inner thought in your head is accusing, it is not what you need to listen to. Critical, reproving, reprimanding, or blaming self-talk is 99% coming from outside you. It can be from how you were treated as a child or how you have been trained and conditioned to think about yourself.

Thinking positively and esteeming yourself is a voice that sounds honoring, approving, valuing, appreciating, and is respectful. It is kind and loving, not harsh and rejecting. There is no way that a shaming or quilting voice is going to benefit you. Keep your inner house clean and you will KNOW if you have done something wrong. You will not have to criticize and beat up on yourself by using an ill-treating voice to yourself.

 

Listen to your inner self talk and stop the “cursing” and bring in the loving voice.

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

CLEANING HOUSE AND MAKING ROOM FOR ALL THAT YOU LOVE TO GIVE

Most of us would just like to deep six our past and push the DONE button. Oh, that it were that easy! There are so many closets inside us full of “junk” from the past that calls forth more of the same in the present. It often seems like you cannot get out from under one “thing” before another pops up.

Not only does it feel that way, it IS that way. We are so conditioned to having some kind of old influence plague us, it is hard to reboot for a fresh start. The fresh start must start with “you” taking responsibility for you. If you live with a negative person or work with one or have people in your life who “drag” you into their messy inner house of negativity, stop it right now.

As long as we are willing to let others muddy our inner being with their trash and dump it on us, we can never be free to clean our own inner house. It is a spin cycle that does not clear out. One negative attracts another and takes over. It steals your joy, drags you down and drains your energy. These feelings leave you with no energy to focus on what you need to “clean out.” It just adds more to the pile.

If you feel like you need to clean house, the first place to begin is to put a guard around any “friend” or relative or co-worker that is negative or a taker. If you are the one who is always giving and there is nothing being given from the other side, you are involved with a TAKER. Takers do just that; they use, exploit, manipulate and keep on doing that over and over. Once you stop letting them take or influence you negatively through control or intimidation, they will either be angry or move on to take from someone else.

People who take and abuse you are not your friends. If you work with them, or if they are your bosses, you can still use firm and assertive boundaries that will help you not let their abuse of you keep happening. YOU do not have to be treated as a dump. You are also not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. You will just enable a lot of dysfunction if you think you have to put up with mistreatment. These people are controllers and want to dominate and take advantage of others. They will only be your “friend” if they can control you.

If you like to help people and love them by giving, that is one thing. However, be sure that you are giving to someone who is also in need and making good choices to get out of their situation. If you are feeling sorry for someone, that is usually a good clue, that you are a rescuer and need to stop and ask yourself if that is your job. If you are just helping someone for a season while they get “on their feet,” that is awesome and you are giving love in a positive way.

Make sure you clean your own inner house before attempting to clean anyone else’s:)

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan

 

 

TAKE WHAT IS BEING OFFERED IN A POSITIVE MANNER BY FAITH

Many times people will not want what is being offered. This is true of almost all my clients when we first start the process. They may have had so much in the way of sadness or have had to endure hard situations. It all depends, but the majority of us humans do not welcome pain and suffering. Accepting that God knows what He is doing when it comes to a tough situation is hard on the FQ (faith quotient). However, when done well, it will take you to a new level that is just what you needed to go through.

I have numerous examples in my own life of not taking what was offered that did not seem to be what I wanted at the time. In hindsight, I can honestly say it was 100% always what I needed (and I have had plenty of suffering circumstances). I just wish I knew the Principle of Accepting the Offering in the POSITIVE mind set on that Higher Power. I now think of things that I do not like as an offering that will turn out for my best need. It always does and I have very few things that come my way that I don’t like anymore.

Here is what I think now: I think a situation presents itself and I have a choice to accept that it will be positive and once I do that, it is short and the reward or positive reaping I receive is multi-fold. IN the past, I would have avoided or thought, “I do not want that or I will never be able to handle that.” Those were all false beliefs and lies that I made up in my mind due to my own past trauma. I spent so much time in worry and fear/dread that I could not hear the blessing.

So, here’s the Principle: Count whatever comes your way as an opportunity for God to Shine Through. Take the offering and surrender your fear or opposition to it. Just agree that if it is happening, it will turn out for Good. Along with that, ask for mercy and plug into the positive desired will you have for the situation. After that, let it go and trust God with that Faith I mentioned. Add lots of Promises that you believe it will work out for good because that is the Law of Attraction and All loving conditioning.

Letting go does not mean that you just sit and do nothing. It means you affirm and visualize the things you desire that are positive and loving to be given to you in place of the pain of the trial (whatever is presented that you think you don’t like). Ask for mercy, grace and blessing. Believe you have already received it and imagine how that will feel when it comes. Do not buy into the adage: “hope for the best, but expect the worst.” NO, that blocks the Blessing. Hope for the best out of your willingness to take what is being offered and offer it back up in the way of surrender. Trust that God is bringing a blessing from it and keep the faith in that any way you can by remaining positive in mind, body and spirit.

See you back in a couple days,

Susan

Website: http://www.lifehouserestoration.com

Face book: http://www.facebook.com/newlifesusan?fref=ts

Also follow my daily tweets for more: https://twitter.com/NewLifeSusan