BIO / STYLE
EMDR-what is it?
SEMINARS & CONFERENCES
RESOURCES / BOOKS
I am confident that I have the education,
experience, training, personal and professional skills to help you in
whatever area you need. I also have a lot of life experience with many of
the issues that I will help you with which is important as it is often
challenging to take on the responsibility of getting someone to a place I
have never had to visit. I do understand trauma and abuse personally and
know how deep pain impacts me because I have had to travel that path
personally and of course, many times professionally.
The lady you need NOW! I already know I can help you because you are checking out this site. That tells me you are seeking some help. That is what I DO best because of Who I AM. It is my joy to deliver help to hurting people. Actually, most people are hurting, but not all people are awake to that. If you want to become fully awake to who you are and heal the parts of you that you may not even know or understand, I am the person you need. I am confident and secure in who I am so you can feel safe with me to find out more about who you are and who those around you are so you can relate to each other better. This is what I do best!
A Wise Older Woman of Worth and Value. I will demonstrate how you can be the best you, male or female, and be comfortable and at ease within yourself. I was not always old. I was a woman, but I had no idea of my worth or value. That was the canyon I had to cross. I have done that work so I will not be trying to get any of that from you.
A Restored Person who is still in process and will stay on that journey forever. I am interested in passing along all I have learned and experienced from my own journey. This includes personally and professionally. I am a huge resource to assist you in your own recovery and restoration.
My business is a combination of educating, enlightening and encouraging others to become all they were originally meant to be before their past started to become unmanageable and the present became distressful. I do this through therapeutic and spiritual healing methods. I do possess a license in professional counseling and have a private practice in that field. However, I do so much more than psychotherapy.
Focus my work on helping individuals and couples restore relationships with themselves and each other as well as family members. This is very complicated work, but I have developed an amazing model that I enjoy using and sharing with others. I have done the work myself personally and it has changed my life. I know it works. Is this work easy? No, it can be very painful and challenging, but I do a great job of encouraging you and helping you when you are in that pain to find glimpses of joy so you can keep going.
Once you see into the process, you begin to not only believe in the healing process, you are feeling it in more and more places. The greatest impact will be in self awareness and in the dynamics of your relationships with others.
I write about all kinds of healing in every area of your life: spiritual, thinking, emotional, physical and social/relational. These aspects all improve as you take the steps to look inside your inner house and assess what needs work and take that internal journey. I can help you plan how deep into this process you desire to delve and outline the way to go.
I am the youngest child from a very dysfunctional family. This is where I got the idea to become a caregiver and teacher. From my earliest memory, I knew I needed to find out where I belonged and who I was so I could exist as me. At five, I informed my mother I did not need her to take me to kindergarten on the first day of school. I let her know I would ride the bus on my own. I did exactly that even though I thought I had made a mistake when I climbed to the top of the “monkey bars” and looked down and saw all the other kids there with their mothers. It was then I knew I must learn to fit in and be social and I would be okay. That was the beginning of my journey away from my true self. It would be some time before I could come back home and find the real me.
I have always combined my best strong suits of learning, reading, socializing, caretaking, and pretending to get what I needed. It worked very well as I excelled in all academic areas. I have always been good at studying and reading and achieving what I set my mind on. That was part of the problem. I used my mind to figure out how to get along in life and split off from most of my feelings and pretended I was just fine. I learned to be an expert at caretaking from the need to take care of my mother. I became social so I would have places to go and people to hang out with. I was really successful at this and became an expert at creating places where others would need me. From the age of 12 on, all my friends were telling me their problems and I was on the phone all the time. In high school, I wrote the gossip column for the school newspaper under a pseudo-name. It still amazes me that I was listening to other people’s problems on the phone or writing answers to questions in that paper 50 years ago.
I went to college to become a teacher with a focus on children with special needs. I graduated with a teaching degree and a minor in psychology. Go figure. My life might have stopped there and I would have taught all my life and retired in NYS except for the fact that my husband (who I am still married to) was drafted into the army and sent to Viet Nam. I decided to move to CA with some girlfriends that same year he was gone. It was easy to land a teaching job as a young gal with a NY teaching degree and experience. The only problem was that I was told I needed a master’s degree in CA unlike NY. I was very upset, at first, but decided if I wanted to live there, I would do the work.
My husband returned from Viet Nam. We both enrolled in CSULB. I received an MA in Educational Psychology. I taught public school in CA for eight years, both in special needs classes and teaching 6th grade. During that time, travel during summers really enlightened me to how big the world really is and how little of it I really knew. That degree also began my interest in delving deeper into psychology.
I took off ten years from teaching to do the best work I have ever done and that is become the mother of two of the most amazing boys. Raising them into fine young men has been the greatest experience. They are fully grown adults with their own careers and families. One has a PhD in clinical psychology, is married to a wonderful teacher who is taking time to raise their two great kids who are the apple of my eye. I love that family and enjoy the gift they are to me. The other is working on his doctorate in ancient near eastern studies, is married to a medical doctor who also has a degree in counseling. My husband likes to say that he is “fixed” with all the focus in our family on teaching, psychology, physical healing, and spiritual expertise. BTW, he is a businessman, but has been a teacher, stock broker, salesperson, and all around great man. Both of us agree our best times are here at the lake with our sons and their families.
I returned to teaching after being talked out of school psychologist by one in that field. I knew, however, I needed to help in new ways in spite of my love of children. I took a consulting job at my school to train teachers how to teach struggling learners. I became very interested in the brain research at that time and have continued to go to any training, conference or read books on that subject for the past 15 years. I knew I needed to leave public education and pursue my love of counseling and psychology.
I returned to college to pursue a counseling degree that combined psychology with theology. I have used that degree and all the training to go with it from numerous workshops to arrive at the work I do today. It was also a major portion of my own healing journey. I learned so much from all the work I did getting that MA. in counseling.
An integral part of that was five years spent in CO working in a clinic gaining experience in working with couples struggling with sex addiction issues. It was an interesting clinic as people came there from all over for intensive work and to begin a healing journey from that problem. My job was to meet with the wives of the men and to follow up via phone counsel. In addition, I would have phone clients I had never met who presented with those same issues. I soon learned that this problem of SA had deep roots into family of origin and other core issues of identity and attachment. I had no idea the complexities of the problem. I decided to leave the clinic in CO in 2007 to move to NY to a wonderful place on Chautauqua Lake where I now live. It has been the perfect spot for me to continue learning and growing and my practice thrives. It is also a great place for our family to come and have lots of rest, relaxation, and fun here on the lakeJ
Since returning to NY, I have had so much experience with clients that have graciously asked me to work with not only them, but their family members including their parents and children or adult children. This has given me another dimension to the generational aspect of emotional dysfunction. Now, I see how much we pass on to our children from our unhealed and unprocessed grief and loss. Most people think they can just move on from the issues of the past, but deep down, those things are still buried and will rise up reactively when circumstances are stressful. In addition, those who have suffered with chronic stress, are even more unaware of the depth of the pain they are carrying. It often shows up from living with someone who is actively addicted to something or from someone who grew up with an alcoholic or some other chronic issue that was untreated. Out of the cases I have dealt with, I have been blessed to get to know the work of Pia Mellody who is the most amazing woman in this field. She is amazing personally and professionally. She trains us in her model and gives back monthly case studies that we all need help with staffing. Her work on healing past trauma is the model I use the most. I am always so happy to tell others that I can help them with this model at the center of the work we will do together. It clears so much of the past “stuff” that drives addictions.
Even now, nearly ten years later working with families affected by addiction, I am amazed at the depth of healing needed with any person who has struggled with addictions as well as the impact it has on their family and all relationships. It has provided me with so much information, however, that I now use to present this offering to you. After working in this field for years now, I see the systems, the patterns, the dynamics, the behaviors, the disorders, and all that from the past. Mostly, what I see is how to help people no matter what the presenting issue or how deep the suffering has been or how long it has persisted. It is never too late to be that authentic self inside of you that wants to free.
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